Christy Wright is a personal development expert, NY TIMES best-selling author, speaker to Fortune 500 companies, and she is also the child of a single mom. Christy shares that being raised by a single parent has shaped her in profound ways. Christy has seen that many single parents live with an undercurrent of guilt. When one parent carries the responsibility for the care of their child, they often feel the need to compensate for any potential harm or hardship because the other parent is less available or absent. This guilt is common, but Christy says she is who she is because she was raised by a single parent, not in spite of it, but because of it. She attributes all her success to being raised by a single parent.
Often, single parents don't realize the resilience, strength, and fortitude that their kids are learning as they watch them push through the struggles of parenting alone. Studies show that facing challenges in childhood teaches kids how to overcome obstacles later in life. When kids are insulated and raised in a bubble, they don't learn the same lessons. So, single parents, take heart, your kids are gaining valuable skills as they watch you!
The most common question she gets as a coach is "how do you balance it all?". She tackles this question in her newest book, "Take Back Your Time". Christy shares that many people think the solution to being balanced is to do more, be more productive, to work more, to work harder, to do it all better and be more efficient. We try that and end up exhausted, not more balanced.
Christy realized we are asking the wrong question. What if balance is not something we do but rather is something we create? How do we find balance in an out of balance world? What if balance is being at peace, being confident in your choices, being proud of how you spend your time? Balance is not about super-productivity. Christy says balance isn't doing everything for an equal amount of time. It's about doing the right things at the right time, and you get to decide what those things are. When you do that, you start to feel balanced, but it's not because you did everything. It's because you determined what was right for you and you did those things. That's a very different result and it's a different path to get there.
Christy uses the question, "What is right right now?" in her own life to find balance and to shake the guilt of not doing more. What is right is honoring the priorities and needs of the season she is in and focusing only on the things that are most important right now.
As single parents focusing on self-care, Christy says we have to redefine what life balance is and what it looks like. The steps to do this are:
Decide what matters
Stop doing what doesn't matter
Create a calendar that reflects what matters
Protect what matters - set boundaries and say no
Be present for what matters - show up for the important things
Today, we discuss what this looks like and some tips for moving in that direction.
For the detailed show notes, tips and links visit SoloParentSociety.com
Follow Christy on Instagram: @christybwright
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