Lysa TerKeurst Good Boundaries and Goodbyes
Renew You with Quinn Kelly

How to Deal with Family Tension at Holidays

11/22/2022 00:28:19
How to Deal with Family Tension at Holidays
In today's podcast, Quinn addresses how to reduce or prevent family tension at holiday gatherings. Because it's something that is normal for so many, but something so many don't know how to change.  

The point of this podcast is to help you work to make your holiday gatherings less stressful and more enjoyable and aligned with honoring God. In the episode, Quinn offers listeners 7 things to avoid which include: 

7 Don't to Prevent Family Tension:
  • Don't call someone out in front of the family.  
  • Don't wait to have a hard conversation at a family gathering. Save them for before or after. 
  • Do not over-drink or overindulge. 
  • Don't respect the host house. 
  • Don't be upset when someone sets a boundary. Respect it. 
  • Don't leave children unattended.  
  • Don't show favoritism toward grand kids.  
  • 4 Things to Prevent Tension as A Host 
  • As the host, tell people your schedule.  
  • If someone isn't responding, reach out to them and ask: 
  • What can I do to make you more comfortable?  
  • Create spaces of retreat. 
  • Offer fun activities for different types of people - the introverts and extroverts.  
  • 3 Things to Do to Avoid Stop Continued Hurt or Family Tension 
  • Set realistic expectations.  


If you need to communicate, figure out what needs to be said to make things the most ideal. Change the pattern. Change the system.  

Look for moments to connect instead of moments to criticize. And have fun! 

Scripture Renewal Tip:

Ephesians 5 

Mind Renewal Tip:

God loves families. He desires us to seek healthy relationships because it brings heaven to earth.

How to Have a Hard Conversation with Those You Love

11/15/2022 00:26:30
How to Have a Hard Conversation with Those You Love
How to Have a Hard Conversations with People You Love 

In this week's episode, Quinn teaches listeners 8 Steps to Follow when having a hard conversation. In it, Quinn shares how a friend called her about a family conflict and said these words, "Now before I tell you my side of the story, I reserve the right to be wrong. And I could not know what I'm talking about" which led Quinn to feel like this was a powerful topic to address before the holidays.? 

In the episode, Quin teaches listeners: 
  • What to say when reaching out for a hard conversation 
  • 4 Family Communication Patterns 
  • 8 Steps to Follow for Hard Conversations 
  • Specifically, Quinn gives tips that will help the listener understand: 
  • Reach out to them: I want peace.? 
  • Know that you can be wrong. 
  • Define a goal. Agree on terms before you sit down 
  • Set a time limit. 
  • Acknowledge your responsibility in the situation and conflict.? 
  • Listen and validate. 
  • Share your side - "This is my experience. These are my feelings." 
  • Restate desired outcome.? 


Mind Renewal Tips

Always remember, "There is your side - my side - and the truth." 

Scripture Renewal:

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7? 

Resources:

https://study.com/learn/lesson/family-communication-patterns-overview-theory-styles.html#:~:text=The%20four%20family%20communication%20patterns,low%20conversation%2C%20low%20conformity). 

How to Say No to People Pleasing and Yes to Self Respect

11/8/2022 00:27:52
 How to Say No to People Pleasing and Yes to Self Respect
In today's episode, Quinn helps the listener understand why people pleasing exists, why it's a problem and more importantly -- how to stop it. By considering the life of Jesus and how he modeled not being a people pleaser but instead a lover of people, Quinn helps listeners understand why Christians are called to love and serve others but not at the expense of themselves.   

During the episode, Quinn gives tips for people pleasers to stop this pattern by discussing: 
  • 3 Reasons People Need to Say No 
  • What Memories Need to Be Addressed to Stop This Pattern 
  • How a Self-Inventory of Needs and Wants is Important  


Mind Renewal Tip:

Harmony exists when what we think say and do matches up.? 

Scripture Renewal:

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.  

Galatians 1:10 

How to Become Less Offendable and Avoid Needless Hurt

11/1/2022 00:29:51
How to Become Less Offendable and Avoid Needless Hurt
Do you find yourself becoming offended more easily? Or do you ever find that everywhere you go, it feels like people are ready for a fight? In today's episode, Quinn helps you discover why people seem to get offended and ways to become less offendable and more peaceful in your daily life.  

Specifically, Quinn gives tips that will help the listener understand: 

1. It's Not a Bad Thing to Disagree and How to Live This Out 

2. How to Love Yourself in a Christ-Like Way to Increase Differentiation 

3. Why Mindreading is Dangerous in Conflict 

Mind Renewal Tip: 

We don't need to be offended by someone we wouldn't take advice from.  

How to Forgive And Why It's Worth It

10/25/2022 00:27:15
How to Forgive And Why It's Worth It
In today's episode, Quinn explores forgiveness and how to practice it in your own life so that you can move forward in peace instead of holding onto hurt by exploring: 

1) Why we are hardwired to hold a grudge and why we find it so hard to forgive.

2) What God says about forgiveness and 

3) How to look at hurt in a new way and stop it from hurting us so deeply.  

Then Quinn teaches three steps to help listeners move into forgiveness:  

1. Accept the feelings instead of hurt and then identify what dream was taken. 

2. Do not personalize and rewrite the story where the offender's intent wasn't to harm you. 

3. Learn self regulation through gratitude. 

References:  

"Forgiveness is supernatural" Jon Stikl -Valley Creek Church 

Article on How to Forgive

Renew You with Quinn Kelly

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The RENEW YOU Podcast is created to be like a private therapy session for you to tackle your everyday stresses and struggles through a mix of Jesus + Therapy with licensed marriage and family therapist Quinn Kelly.

In each episode of this podcast Quinn tackles subjects like negative self-talk, perfectionism, battling off defensiveness in marriage, parenting or friendships to give you something to think about in a renewed way each week with relatable stories, practical tips and a non-intimidating style because Quinn may not be able to solve the world's problems, but she is passionate about helping you solve yours - making her ready to "Renew YOU." 

Reviews

I look forward to episodes

Great podcast with relevant topics and practical action steps to follow, thank you.

I look forward to episodes

Great podcast with relevant topics and practical action steps to follow, thank you.