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Solo Parent Society
Solo Parent Society

Solo Parent Society

The Solo Parent Society podcast is hosted by author and founder Robert Beeson to help single parents raise healthy kids, and grow themselves through conversations with other parents who have walked, or are still walking the 'Solo Parent' path. Plus experts on the things that Solo Parents face the most. The mission of Solo Parent Society is to provide the resources, community, and support that enables a single-parent to discover whole-heart wellness so that their family can thrive.

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Emmanuel: God With Us In Our Struggle

12/2/2020

God With Us In Our Struggle

The holidays can be difficult because they bring up so many emotions for all of us. Especially as single parents, it can be hard to celebrate when we are facing painful memories of lost dreams, broken family traditions, and at times, being apart from our kids. Our reality is far different from a Hallmark movie storyline. Celebrating the season can be a struggle because it highlights the pain of parenting alone. 

Because we know the reality of loss can peak around the holidays, we want to offer some strategies that might help you embrace the truth that God is with us in grief. 

1. Identify and confess your strugle. We need to acknowledge and admit that our grief is real. We need to stop being afraid of it. There is no shame in grief. Yet, sometimes we shrink back from naming and facing it. But grief is a normal part of the human experience. Grief is a sign that our losses and pain matter because we matter. When we love someone and lose them, it's sad. There is a painful void left behind. When we lose the dream of a typical family, it hurts.

2. Accept struggle as normal. It's normal to feel grief and to struggle, especially during the holidays. We need to let ourselves feel it. We need to let go of the desire to push it aside and ignore it. If you are a single parent, you know a lot about grief and feeling loss. These feelings can become even stronger during the holiday season when the losses are highlighted. Remember though, you are not alone, and to struggle with grief and sadness is normal. 

3. Invite God into your struggle. Don't be afraid to let your heart be known by God. That is where intimacy and trust are born. Go to Him honestly with all you are feeling. Don't hide the dark places from Him. Let Him enter your highs, lows, and everything in between. He will meet you there, where you are. 

4. Finally, recognize God's presence with you in struggle. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted. He is acquainted with grief and He will be with you in it. We can find a sense of peace even in sadness and loss because God promises to be with those crushed in spirit. 

Single parent, Elizabeth, shares her experience with grief especially around the holidays. Christmas is hard being a solo parent. It's just not easy. The loss of extended family because of divorce is painful. It just is. Seeing pictures of past celebrations pop up on your phone or just having memories come to mind is like a stab to the heart. Ornaments from past years highlight the changes we've experienced. Your kids leaving to go be with their other family hurts and feels like a loss in itself. Reminder after reminder comes up even as you're getting through Thanksgiving Day and putting up a Christmas tree. 

Even as the waves of emotion wash over you, it's important to remember too that grief and gratitude can coexist. We can be thankful for our children's connection to their other parent's family even while we experience sadness at not being with them. And, it's normal to have FOMO - fear of missing out - when we know traditions are continuing that we are no longer part of anymore. Being disconnected and excluded from special memories and experiences with our kids is hard. 

That's why this topic is so important. Grief around the holidays is real and normal. It's healthy to acknowledge and accept it. We can also hold on to the truth that God is with us in that grief. He is Emmanuel. Especially during this pandemic, when everything feels heightened, it's even more necessary to invite God into that reality. We are all under more stress and more easily triggered. We aren't necessarily in the best place ourselves so we need God to be with us even more. 

How do we embrace Emmanuel - God with us - in struggle?

Identifying and confessing grief is the first step. We all experience sadness and hurt, but what we do with those emotions varies. We each handle our feelings differently. Some of us find ourselves staying busier, avoiding quiet times when the feelings will inevitably surface. Distractions are easier than facing the sadness. Sometimes, our tendency is to try to control things, or work hard to numb out and ignore our grief. Others sink beneath the weight of the feelings and wallow and wade in sadness, perhaps isolating, unable to function. These reactions are common. But we don't find genuine health or wholeness in these responses, only temporary relief. Rather, admitting and identifying our grief helps us process it. It's normal to feel this way. Rather than suppressing it or becoming overwhelmed by it, we need to accept it and let ourselves feel it. 

Grief that goes underground can become depression, anger, bitterness, or cynicism. We might find ourselves ignoring our feelings of hurt, sadness, and loneliness only to act them out in impatience, irritability, or isolation. Naming and facing our feelings is the first steps to experience God with us in grief.

Next, as we recognize and normalize our grief, we can start to notice our default settings. Are we avoiding it, getting stuck in it, or pretending it's not there? Instead of reacting by default, we can be patient with ourselves as we process it in an intentional way, with God and with safe people in our lives. 

Grief doesn't mean you're in a bad place. In fact, sometimes the most incredible breakthroughs happen because of a breakdown. Instead of trying to escape our grief, we can sit with God in it. It's normal to feel sadness and hurt after loss. And, it's normal to be triggered emotionally because of our story. This is just part of life. 

As we get honest about these losses and all that is going on inside of us as a result, we can bring our whole heart to God. Instead of reacting in a "knee-jerk" kind of way, we can cope with our feelings of grief more intentionally. We can acknowledge and accept them and bring them to God.

Another thing to remember about grief is that it can make us long for what we once had. Even if what we lost was toxic or harmful, it's normal to sometimes want it back. Don't be surprised if you miss, sentimentally, what you once had. It doesn't mean you want your former partner or old life back. Rather, missing those things is a reflection that you experienced a loss that still hurts. These thoughts and feelings are a normal part of the grieving process. We might even idealize and long for those things again. But just because we miss being a family unit or being married doesn't mean you should go back to it. Feeling sadness at the loss doesn't mean it's a healthier or better path for you or for your kids. 

Transitions as single parents are hard. Having mixed emotions and thoughts of regret are normal and will happen as we grieve so it's especially important to ask God to be with us in it. We need the peace of His presence and His guidance as we move ahead. 

The more we identify and normalize our grief and struggle, and as we invite God into it with us, the more we can offer that experience to our kids. We can empathize with them instead of subconsciously trying to manage their feelings. Instead of modeling avoidance or numbing out, we can help them acknowledge and accept sadness and grief as normal. Our example gives them permission to feel all the emotions themselves and to process them in a healthy way. We can sit with them and talk through it so they don't feel alone. 

So, how do we invite God into our struggle? What are practical ways we can recognize His presence in it? We can invite Him in by expressing it honestly. We can do that through tears, journaling, talking out loud with trusted friends about it, and admitting when we are angry and afraid because of the losses we've experienced. We can ask God to be with as we feel sad, hurt, and lonely. Sometimes it helps to imagine sitting at God's feet or to visualize being held by Him, as we grieve and cry. That picture of Him, acting as our loving Father, one who brings comfort and who cares deeply about us, is helpful. 

Worshipping God while we're facing our grief helps too. It reminds me us of who He is and what He has done. His Word can bring comfort even as we are feeling painful things. When God says He is with us, it's not just words on a page. He sent His Spirit to comfort us, to guide us, and to help us - in the here and now, in the reality of our pain. We can pour out our hearts to God. We can give it all to Him as we picture Him near us, acting on our behalf. 

Another thing to remember is that God doesn't restore everything the way we expect or the way we might want. God with us in grief doesn't mean He comes and gives back whatever we lost. Rather, He redeems us where we are now and where we are going. He gives us a richer understanding of who He is and all He has done for us. 

Psalm 34 says the Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves those crushed in spirit. God walks with us along painful pathways. He will not leave us to face them alone. We can bring our hurts to Him and He will help us with them. Sometimes it is only in going through hardship that we realize and recognize His presence. Confessing and acknowledging our pain helps us know God in a deeper way and this intimacy with Him is transformational. God may not restore our circumstances, but He restores our heart and redeems our hurts. In the process of facing our pain, God will meet us in it. We can feel His kindness, mercy, and grace in our suffering. God transforms what we bring to Him. He can make beauty from ashes. He truly is Emmanuel - God with us, no matter what we are facing.

As you walk the journey of single parenting, we want to offer encouragement and hope any way we can. Join our Solo Parent Society community by participating in one of our online groups meeting every week. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram (@solopa rentsociety). Subscribe to our weekly podcast via AccessMore or wherever you get your podcasts and download our Solo Parent app FREE in the app store. We love to connect single parents to resources that offer hope and help. If you want to donate so we can reach more single-parent families, go to www.soloparentsociety.com. Questions? Email us at info@spsociety.com

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Worth: How to Teach Our Kids Self Worth

11/24/2020
00:25:24

Worth - Teaching Our Kids Worth

We live in a time where our kids are being battered around by all kinds of voices and comparisons, more than when we were kids for sure. 24/7 they are hearing lies about ways they don't measure up. Depression, anxiety, and suicide are on a serious increase. As adults, we are facing these things too, but we have history, context, and experience to know that these things come and go but our kids don't.

Especially during the pandemic, the hopelessness, and questions about "Am I worth it" can be very loud voices. With current events like this, it's more important than ever to notice what our kids are going through and identify how they are feeling about themselves. Teaching our kids how to have a healthy sense of worth is paramount.

All this month we've been building our idea of worth using the acronym VIP, value, identity, and purpose. We are going to use these same ideas to explore practical ways to teach a healthy sense of worth to our kids.

First, psychologists agree a good place for parents to start is by modeling what healthy self-worth looks like themselves. We don't have to be perfect or have everything figured out to do this. The process is as important, if not more important, than being able to show our kids we know and understand our value, identity, and purpose.

Teaching our kids is reinforcing their value, identity, and purpose in our every day lives. Identity and purpose will come later as they grow in their own story and along their own life path. But we can teach our kids value from day one to create a foundation of healthy worth.

Teaching value is first found in understanding who God is. We often measure ourselves by comparing ourselves with other people. We may not have the same characteristics, traits, or attributes as someone else and we can determine incorrectly that somehow means we are less valuable. But the good news is that value has everything to do with God and nothing to do with us. When we start with who He is, we can accept that our great Creator who hung the stars and moon and created everything on earthy also thought it was important for each of us to be created. He loves us dearly and brought us to life because we each needed to be here. His decision to create us demonstrates our intrinsic value.

But how do we teach this to our kids? We can do this in three practical ways every day.

1. Show affection

2. Speak affirmation

3. Create space

Show Affection

We can first encourage a sense of worth in our kids by showing them affection. Our kids need to know how much they are valued by us. They need to know we are so glad they are here, and they are not an accident.

We can't assume our kids know how proud of them we are or how glad we are to be their mom or dad. We must demonstrate it by showing them affection. Our kids need daily reminders that we are happy to have time with them and that we enjoy being around them. We can show them this with hugs, sitting together and just being close to them, or telling them with words or acts of service that they matter to us. Showing affection can look lots of different ways, like being at their sporting event, remembering their favorite things and taking time to know what's important to them.

With older kids, don't let them isolate to their rooms too much. It's normal for teens to want some space but make it a priority to be near them when you can - after work, at meals, at bedtime. Use eye contact and body language to show them you care. Being in each other's physical presence helps our kids develop a sense of their importance and their value. Smile and let your eyes light up when they enter the room. Set aside other things whenever possible to show them they are worthy of your undivided attention.

Speak Affirmation

Not only does showing affection build a sense of value but so do words of affirmation. Kids need our affection and our presence, but they also need to hear we are proud of them just as they are. Robert Beeson, Solo Parent Society founder, shares that these words matter to us as adults, so they matter to our kids. After putting together a successful event recently, Robert shared the highlight wasn't the accolades he got from colleagues but rather the simple words of his dad saying, "I'm very proud of you and your mother would be too. I'll always love you." These words meant more because Robert wanted to hear them while he was growing up, but they weren't expressed very often. Kids need us to show affection AND they need to hear affirmation from us. Words matter and kids need to consistently hear that you love them and that you're proud of them. Speaking affirmation helps them know they are valued.

If this is an area that you missed from your parents as a child, be the one to break the cycle. Change the paradigm and intentionally speak words of life and love into your children. The more you speak affirmation to them, the more they will grow in security and in knowing their value. Especially for kids who have experienced divorce or the loss of a parent, we must be deliberate in letting them know they are seen, and we must also talk to them about how God sees them. Not only can we build them up with encouragement as a parent, we can build them up in the truth of God's word. Reinforcing their origin as children of God is critical in them understanding their value.

Psalm 139:14-16 says, 

" For you created my inmost being;

    you knit me together in my mother's womb.

 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

    your works are wonderful,

    I know that full well."

Our value is determined by God. As parents, we can reinforce that sense of worth with our kids. This value goes beyond the bond of family or humanity. We can remind them that God thought it was just as important to create them as it was to create their favorite sports hero, gaming pro, or whomever they admire most.

Create Space

The third point in creating value is creating space to be with our kids and spend time with them. We reinforce their value by showing them they are important enough for us to carve out time to just be with them. God shows us the same value by prioritizing our relationship with him too. He wants us to talk to Him and to spend time with Him. When we express the same desire to be with our kids, we help them understand their value. Play video games with them, build Legos with them, create space to meet them where they are and show them you enjoy time with them. This teaches our kids that they are valuable and reinforces a healthy sense of worth.

We teach our kids a further sense of their worth when we help them embrace and discover their individual identity and purpose. Just like we need to pay attention to our history, story, and life path, we can pay attention to our kids' journey too. When we intentionally notice our children's strengths and weaknesses and celebrate both who they are and who they are not, we teach them to embrace their unique design. None of us are good at everything but that doesn't make us less valuable. And, we can encourage our kids to try new pursuits even if they won't be the best at it. This gives our kids freedom and permission to explore their identity and purpose without expecting perfection or a specific outcome.

Single parents, we help our kids understand their worth by reminding them their value is determined by their Creator. Our voice can remind them they are here by design and are valuable just as they are by showing our kids affection, speaking affirmation, and creating space for them.

As you walk the journey of single parenting, we want to help you any way we can. Join our Solo Parent Society community by participating in one of our online groups meeting every week. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram (@soloparentsociety). Subscribe to our weekly podcast via AccessMore or wherever you get your podcasts and download our Solo Parent app FREE in the app store. We love to connect single parents to resources that offer hope and help. If you want to donate so we can reach more single-parent families, go to www.soloparentsociety.com . Questions? Email us at info@spsociety.com .

Worth: Discovering Our Purpose

11/17/2020
00:29:56

Worth - Discovering Your Purpose

Worth is made up of our value, identity, and purpose (V.I.P.). Understanding each of these elements helps us know we are VIP's in God's kingdom. Each one of us has intrinsic value because we were created by our Creator. We each have a unique identity shaped and informed by our history, story, strengths, and passions. And, we were created on purpose for a purpose - to walk out the plan God set in place and to do the works He planned in advance for us to do.

Discovering your purpose is part three of our series on worth. Your purpose is a path. It's a process of discovery, not a destination. There are two distinctives to pay attention to in discovering your purpose. They are your design and your path.

The first is our design. To understand our purpose and unlock our power, we must value our design. This starts with knowing and believing we are uniquely created by the Designer for a specific purpose. When we are anchored in this knowledge, we can embrace our unique design. Some of us believe we have to fit in, perform, or look and behave in certain ways to accomplish our purpose. Instead of trying to fit into these boxes, we need to look into God's word to discover our design. Our design isn't found in fashion magazines or other worldly measure like career achievements or accumulating material things. This isn't God's design.

God's design for us is not the same as that of culture or society. "Comparison is the thief of joy" and when we look to worldly standards to measure our design, we can easily lose sight of our godly purpose. We need to be intentional and look to God instead to discover our gifting and purpose. Luke 13:20 says, "He asked, "To what can I compare the kingdom of God? It is like leaven that a woman took and mixed into three measures of flour, until all of it was leavened." Yeast is tiny and unseen yet it acts throughout the entire batch of dough causing it to rise. Start asking God to reveal the "leaven" He has placed in you. Look for those areas that are evidence of His Spirit acting inside of you for His kingdom. God created you with unique gifts to be used for unique purposes. Take some time to explore how He designed you.

Former single mom, Kimberley, shares something her daughter said when she was 8 years old. "Hey Mom, the word "us" is part of "Jesus" so that means we belong together. Jesus and us." Yes! So simple and yet so profound. Jesus and us. We were made for connection with Him. We were created to know and follow Him. Both our design and our path our part of our purpose.

And His purpose for our lives is so much better and higher than our own. When we open ourselves up to God and His purposes for us, it can look a lot different than we expect but it is so much better. Robert Beeson, founder of Solo Parent Society, says his solo season revealed more of God's plan for him than ever before. It is at rock bottom that we sometimes find our deepest connection to God and understand ourselves more than could have in any other circumstances. Being intentional about our solo season and asking God to show us who He created us to be can be pivotal. We can come out on the other side transformed, ready to embrace our design and the path we are on, however unexpected.

And our path is the second part of discovering our purpose. Often when we think of purpose, we think of it as a destination or something we determine. And that just isn't the case. Purpose is not an objective, it's an outcome. Purpose is found in our design and in the path that God has us on, even when that path includes hardships, trials, and brokenness.

Everything happens on purpose for a purpose. Sometimes we get in a rush. We get impatient and we want to see the ending, but God gives us "just enough light for the step we're on". Our purpose is found in trusting God in the unknowns and in the difficult places. God wants us to be fully present in our daily lives, right here and now. Knowing and following Him isn't found in an end result, but rather in being used by Him as a vessel in everyday moments.

Purpose is like a train station. We find it along the way as we obey God and go where He calls us. It isn't found at the ene destination. It is found in the present and often in the simple things - being kind to those around us, making a difference in small but profound ways, as we love God and others right where we are. [6.5 m]

Even when life throws us curve balls, our purpose remains. Wake up every day and ask God, "What do you want me to do today?" and then go do it. That is purpose! Sometimes God's ways surprise us. Sometimes He slows us down or shuts doors we wanted to be open, but we just need to follow Him and ask Him what He wants us to do. When we realize we aren't in control and let go, it's the perfect opportunity to discover real purpose.

Single parents, ask God, "What does purpose look like for me today?" Purpose is found in the belief that He goes before us and in remembering what He has already done. There is so much right in front of us that we don't see. Discovering our purpose is found in stopping and taking inventory to discover our unique design and see the things on our path to pay attention to and trust God in. That is where we find our purpose.

If 2020 is teaching us anything, it's that life can change on a dime. Our greatest purpose is not found in a specific title, destination, or accomplishment. Our greatest purpose is as a child of God. Our design and our path are all because of Him. We bring our design - our loaves and fishes - to God and He multiplies them as He chooses, along the path HE has planned for us. As we surrender, and bring Him whatever we have to give, He does what only He can do and uses it for His plans and His glory.

Our value is because of God, inherent in all of us as sons and daughters of God. Second, our identity is the story God is writing in our lives, the testimony of God's faithfulness. Finally, our purpose is found in our design and the path God has planned for each of us.

Ephesians 3:20 says "Now to Him who is able to do infinitely more than all we can ask or imagine according to His power that is already at work in us." Our value is unshakeable, our identity is as children of God, and our purpose is found as we follow Him on His path for us. It is His job to do "infinitely more" than we can "ask or imagine". Start journaling as you ask God about His design and His path for your life. Ask Him what "loaves and fishes" He has given you to be used for His purposes. Ask Him to reveal His plans for you. God's purpose for you is in progress. It isn't over simply because life has surprised you with unexpected twists and turns. There is so much hope in Him. Embrace your design and your path and follow Him into your purpose.

As you walk the journey of single parenting, we want to offer support and encouragement. Join our Solo Parent Society community by participating in one of our online groups meeting Monday through Saturday every week. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram (@soloparentsociety). Subscribe to our weekly podcast via AccessMore or wherever you get your podcasts and download our Solo Parent app FREE in the app store. We love to connect single parents to resources that offer hope and help. If you want to donate so we can reach more single-parent families, go to www.soloparentsociety.com.

Questions?
Email us at info@spsociety.com.  

WORTH: UNCOVERING OUR IDENTITY

11/10/2020
00:41:36

Worth: Uncovering Our Identity

Single parents have often walked a challenging path experiencing hurts and obstacles along the way. These difficulties can shake their sense of worth leaving them feeling empty and unsure of who they are. Regaining a sense of worth is found in recovering our sense of value, uncovering our identity, and realizing our purpose. 

Each component builds on the other. The first one, our value, is unchangeable and intrinsic. God determines our value which is foundational to our sense of worth. The second component is our identity. Our identity is made up of characteristics that distinguish us from one another. It's our individual stories that set us apart. Finally, our worth helps inform our purpose. We were created intentionally by God to fulfill good works planned for us. When we have a solid understanding of our value, identity, and purpose, we can walk with confidence in our worth, knowing we were created by God, on purpose for a purpose. 

One of the components needed for a healthy sense of worth is uncovering our identity. We can gain valuable knowledge of who we are through four facets: 1) our history, 2) the setbacks we've experienced, 3) our unique strengths, and 4) our individual passion. 

History 

First, our history starts with our family of origin. Part of understanding our identity lies in understanding how we grew up and how it impacted us. Whether raised in a big family or as an only child, whether under ideal circumstances or difficult ones, our upbringing has shaped and molded us into who we are today. Understanding our history helps us understand our identity today. The story of Joseph illustrates how our family of origin can shape us. Joseph was a favored son and his brothers became jealous as a result. His childhood experiences of having dreams and being able to interpret them are a big part of his family history. Your family history matters too. 

Setbacks 

Another facet of our identity are the setbacks we've faced. Each one of us has experienced different hardships and difficulties that inform our identity and sense of who we are. Joseph was betrayed and sold into slavery by his brothers. He was accused of something he didn't do and was thrown into prison. These hardships impacted his identity just like we are impacted by our own. Adversities like divorce, abuse, illness, or betrayal change our life trajectory and the way we see ourselves. Some alter our identity while others reinforce it or cause us to reinvent part of who we are. 

Strengths 

Like our history and setbacks, our strengths are another facet of identity. Our unique talents and strengths help us understand who we were created to be. Some of our experiences develop these strengths and others reveal ones we didn't even know were there. Each strength informs part of our identity. Taking inventory of our strengths is an important part of recognizing our worth. One of Joseph's strengths was charisma. He first found favor with his father and later with those he encountered while he was a slave and in prison. Joseph also knew how to interpret dreams. This gift from God gave him an advantage and set him up to gain stature in Egypt. Knowing our strengths is a key facet to knowing our identity. 

Passion 

Passion is the final facet in discovering our identity. We can find our passion by looking at the things we are drawn to, like nurturing kids, being creative, or starting a business. When we take the time to understand our individual passions, we gain a greater understanding of our identity too. Sometimes the turmoil we have faced as a single parent can rob us of some of our passion, but these same adversities can also fuel it. 

Taking time to recognize our passions is a key facet in knowing our identity. Joseph's passion was always in being a leader. Even while home with his brothers as a younger son, he demonstrated leadership sharing the dreams that set him apart. Later, he continued to lead in Potiphar's house, acting with excellence and confidence. Ultimately, he became an important
leader in Egypt, second only to the king. His passions were part of his unique identity with his history, setbacks, and strengths. 

Understanding Your History and Personal Setbacks 

These four facets inform our identity as single parents too. Single mom, Elizabeth, shares that discovering her identity, particularly after divorce, has been a healing process. Understanding her history by looking back, with a counselor, at her family of origin has been a significant part of that. While some of her memories have been hard and painful, others are positive and
include fond memories she wants to create with her own kids. Overall, this discovery process can be a gift because it allows us to reshape some of the "default settings" from the past, and instead, choose another way. 

Like our personal history, the setbacks we experience also impact our identity. Former single mom, Kimberley, shares that she had hopes and dreams that crumbled when life didn't go the way she expected. The broken pieces left her feeling like a failure, but God used those things to transform her into who she is today. Elizabeth shared that some of the hardest setbacks in her life have now given her greater empathy for others struggling with their own hurts. She goes back to Genesis 50:20 again and again, knowing that what others meant to harm her, God can use for good. 

Know Your Strengths and Passions 

Along with understanding our history and setbacks, single parents can also discover their identity by finding their strengths. This process isn't always easy. It can be hard to identify our gifts and talents especially after we've been hurt, rejected, or when we feel like we've failed. One of the ways you can do this is by starting with God. Asking Him who He says you are. Let Him reveal the strengths He has innately put in you or that He developed in you through your story. 

Finally, we can discover our identity through our passions, those things that we love to do and that bring us joy and satisfaction. Sometimes when life kicks us around, we can feel so defeated, we lose sight of our passions. But God's calling and gifts are irrevocable. He has good plans for each one of us. Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Finding our passions is part of discovering our identity. Just like our strengths, we can start by asking God what He has planned for us and how He wants us to use our passions. 

Knowing Your Worth 

Worth is a huge topic. To have a healthy sense of our worth, we first must start by knowing our intrinsic value as God's beloved children. Then we can look at our identity, the unique stories we each have that set us apart from others. Our history, the setbacks we've experienced, our strengths, and our passions all shape our identity. Taking time to understand each facet helps us identify who we are in Christ. But this doesn't always happen quickly or easily. Be patient with yourself and ask God to guide you each step of the way. 

As you walk the journey of single parenting, we want to offer support and encouragement. Join our Solo Parent Society community by participating in one of our online groups meeting Monday through Saturday every week. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram (@soloparentsociety). Subscribe to our weekly podcast via AccessMore or wherever you get your podcasts and download our Solo Parent app FREE in the app store. We love to connect single parents to resources that offer hope and help. If you want to donate so we can reach more single-parent families, go to www.soloparentsociety.com.

Questions?
Email us at info@spsociety.com.  

WORTH: RECOVERING OUR VALUE

11/3/2020
00:00:00
Divorce, unplanned pregnancy, death of a spouse, or leaving an abusive relationship can shake our sense of who we are. So much of our identity gets wrapped up in the roles we play, and we sometimes let our value be defined by external circumstances. Four things that can help when it comes to knowing our value is 1) reverence, 2) refuting lies, 3) replacing lies and 4) remembering the truth . Reverence Value starts with reverence, ascribing worth and honor to God. This is the most important anchor point for our value. We have a Creator who sits on a throne. To understand ourselves, we must understand Who created us. We are not mistakes. When we know and believe that God is real, powerful, and praiseworthy, it helps us realize our value too. We were intentionally designed for a purpose by our Creator. This is the foundation of our value. Our value starts with God. Knowing Him helps us understand ourselves and our value. Solo Parent Society founder, Robert Beeson, began to reverence God  more when he began to make space to just get still before Him. As a single dad, he found himself questioning things and needing rest. Ultimately, he started asking God to help him in his unbelief. In those quiet, honest moments, he began to realize how big God is and how powerful He is. In the stillness, he started to reverence God and to realize that God put him on this earth for a reason. He started to realize his value in a deeper way. Nothing we say or do changes our value. Our greatest accomplishments or failures do not affect our value. We are made in God's image, covered by His grace, and empowered by His presence. We are His and we belong to Him. This is the most amazing testament to our value. We were created in love by our Divine Creator. Refuting lies To recognize our value, we must also be able to refute lies. Each of us has been damaged in some way by false beliefs about ourselves, lies we've been told or believed from our family of origin, a significant other, former spouse, or other people. These voices diminish our value, so we need to identify what those voices are saying and recognize them as lies. The enemy wants us to believe the lies. He has come only to "steal, kill, and destroy". As lies confront us, we must ask instead, "Who does God say you are?". Sometimes we feel comfortable believing lies. We get so used to them, they become normal. The truth can be more difficult for us to believe but we must intentionally identify lies and refute them. What is one lie you need to refute? For the complete show notes with links, click here-https://soloparentsociety.com/2020/11/02/worth-recovering-our-value/